Spoiler Alert:
I shall be mapping out Mad Max: Fury Road, inspecting its driving force and finding out what makes it run to see if it’s high performance or nothing more than a wreck. So read on only if you’ve already seen Mad Max, or don’t plan to.
Gay Pride in Hell
0:01:12
It was hard to know who was more crazy, me or everyone else.
It was your grammar teacher. #crazier
0:01:48 Max stands on top of a giant hill, ignoring the voices in his head and eating lizard. Multitasking is important post-apocalypse.
Fast Food
[N.B. This scene reveals the two female figures that haunt Max throughout the film. The older woman is his wife, Jessie, who died in the original Mad Max. The younger girl – Glory the Child – is a stranger who will make her appearance in the comic prequel: Mad Max: Fury Road – Mad Max 2]
0:03:24 Max (Tom Hardy) is captured by half-life War Boys: marauders living in the mountains and pale as Irish children in winter.
[N.B. They’re referred to as ‘half-life’ because their life span is cut short by cancer – most likely radiation induced leukaemia.]
0:03:47 Max has a tattoo which states his blood is ‘O-negative high octane’, and he’s a universal donor. In the future, petrol will bleed you dry.
It’s a gas
0:07:19
Grin and bare it
0:07:47
Rev it up for Immortan Joe!
A fat bloke wearing a plastic casing who has the skin complexion of an adolescent McDonald’s fry cook is the leader of the hill people. His is a government of the pimple by the pimple for the pimple.
Needs some back-up
[N.B. Colonel Joe Moore is played by Hugh Keays-Byrne who, interestingly enough, also played the antagonist Toecutter in the original Mad Max.]
Australian dental care
0:08:04
Immortan Joe: Once again we send off my war rig to bring back guzzoline from Gas Town and bullets from the Bullet Farm.
They may want to pick something up from the Think Tank, as well.
0:08:12 Joe’s ‘Imperator’ is Furiosa (Charlize Theron). I suppose in the future ‘Imperator’ means ‘bus operator’.
Make-up tips by Taylor Momsen
0:09:14 Joe opens the floodgates and gives the throng of dirty valley dwellers (‘The Wretched’ or ‘The Triumvirate’) a much needed shower and a few drops to drink.
Joe: Do not, my friends, become addicted to water. It will take hold of you and you will resent its absence.
It’s as nefarious as an addiction to oxygen – but I can quit either when I want.
0:12:10 Before the convoy can arrive at Gas Town, Furiosa swerves off the road and drives into the desert. I just wish some of my mates were as good at avoiding gas.
Landescape
0:12:45
Udder disbelief
0:13:08 Mini-meat (Quentin Kenihan as Corpus Colossus, Joe’s son) notices Furiosa has gone off the beaten path. Joe realises it’s because Furiosa has kidnapped his Wives. Joe’s breeding stock is going down.
[N.B. Joe has two sons, Corpus Colossus, a physically handicapped man, and Rictus Erectus (Nathan Jones), a mentally handicapped man. It is Joe’s desire to engender a healthy heir that leads to his impregnating his stock of Wives.]
0:16:02 The War Boys have to chase after the escaping Furiosa.
Nux (Nicholas Hoult): I just need a top up [of a blood transfusion], some more juice.
Slit (Josh Helman): There’s no time.
Nux: We take my blood bag [Max] and strap him to the lancer’s perch.
Slit: It’s got a muzzle on it. It’s a raging feral.
Nux: That’s right. High octane crazy blood, filling me up.
This is why Max goes along for the ride. He’s a bloody assistant.
0:17:12 This vehicle is so rock and roll.
Traffic Jams
[N.B. The Doof Warrior is a blind musician wearing a mask made from his dead mother’s face. He’s played by iOTA. The good news is iOTA is hot and gay. The bad news is he’s a recovering alcoholic and booze is usually my go-to move.
The actual guitar weighed 132 pounds (60 kilograms) and shot real petrol fuelled flames controlled with the whammy bar.]
0:19:22 As Furiosa and her entourage enter no-man’s land, they are beset upon by a group of psychopaths called Buzzards. They certainly fight as hard as some of the birds I know.
0:22:34 A wounded war boy sprays ‘Chrome’ (silver spray paint) on his teeth as a sort of stimulant and then leaps onto an enemy car screaming “Witness me!”
Getting a jump on the competition
[N.B. ‘Chrome’ is a spray paint that the War Boys use because 1) chrome is valuable in the post-apocalyptic world, 2) it’s an outward sign of their V-8 worship, 3) there’s some form of high received from it. Evidence of the latter is this reference to ‘chroming‘, which is drug use popular in Australia…where the director is from. Also worth noting, chrome addiction in Mad Max erodes War Boys’ lips.
As an extra bonus, at the bottom of this article check out the silver cooking spray product used in the film as Chrome and the reviews by War Boys .]
MFW I confuse haemorrhoid cream with toothpaste
0:24:57 Now that the Buzzards have been eliminated, the War Boys sent to intercept the convoy have to stop Furiosa and recover the Wives. Unfortunately, there’s trouble on the horizon. By ‘trouble’ I mean ‘sandstorm’ and by ‘horizon’ I mean ‘horizon’.
It could be worse, it could be 5 minutes in the future
0:33:07 In the aftermath of the storm, Max carries Nux and the car door to which they’re chained to the lorry he hears revving in the distance. He walks out from behind the lorry and stumbles into Pornhub.
“Let’s play ‘Pee like a boy’!”
0:38:06 While Max fights Furiosa and her Wives, Nux wakes up and thinks he’s helping Max collect the prize for Immortan Joe. #booty
0:38:14 The Splendid Angharad says they’re going to the green place. I’ve got some medicine that will clear that right up.
0:40:06 Furiosa attaches her strap-on arm. She needs a hand.
Furiosa is disarmed
0:43:01 The group is complete and heads off to elude the evil caravan, hot in pursuit. The group on the war rig consists of
- Max, who’s mad as ever
- Furiosa, who’s furious as Max
- Nux, who’s at the wrong half of his life
- Blonde: The Splendid Angharad (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) who is carrying a litter of War Pups
- Brunette: Cheedo the Fragile (Courtney Eaton) who some might call tasty
- Ginger: Capable (Riley Keough) who’s surname should be “Of Anything”
- Albino: The Dag (Abbey Lee) who is paler than a bottle of white-out
- Black: Toast the Knowing (Zoë Kravitz) who is only one of those two things
[N.B. Zoë Kravitz asked George Miller to call her character ‘Toast’ in honour of the Mad Max fan / visual effects crew member, Shyam ‘Tast’ Yadav. Zoë made the request after hearing about FTX: French Toast and Hugs, Shyam’s project to feed people free French toast and hugs.]
He always takes forever deciding at the drive-thru
0:43:38 The Gas Town boys are coming to provide some backup. Boys from Gas Town are full of beans.
Splendid (looking through a spy glass): Big rigs, polecats, flamers, and there’s the People Eater (John Howard) himself.
I can identify with at least one of these.
0:45:36
Nux [to Furiosa]: Filth! You traited him!
While Max is at the rear, reconnecting the hose that operates the fuel pod wheels, Nux sneaks to the front of the rig and attacks Furiosa. The other girls are able to subdue him, which doesn’t surprise me in the least. Seriously, have you seen Nicholas Hoult? He looks as though he could be taken out by an asthmatic teen with sclerosis on a bad date.
Chain of Fool
0:45:51 Splendid refuses to let Furiosa kill the lad.
Splendid: He’s kamakrazee. He’s just a kid at the end of his half-life.
Then they chuck him out of the rig like poor people with McDonald’s trash on the motorway.
0:50:18
“At least the middle finger still works!”
0:50:31 The group arrive in Rock Rider territory. Furiosa made a deal here to deliver the pod of guzzoline in exchange for the Riders’ blocking the canyon with a load of rocks, cutting off the pursuers. The Riders prefer to attack the caravan, lose many men, lose the petrol and then block the pass anyway. Maybe the ‘rock’ in ‘Rock Riders’ refers to their heads.
0:54:14 The special effect of Splendid’s pregnancy is closer to special education.
Is she giving birth to a Lego?
0:57:21 Immortan Joe’s son, Rictus, tosses Nux on the rig so he can kill Furiosa and recover the Wives. ‘Rictus’ sounds like a part of the body you wouldn’t want to have a cancer.
0:58:54 This scene is what elevates Mad Max over most other action films. They have an attractive, pregnant female lead, and they throw her under the bus for the sake of the film. I’ll bet you can’t name one other film where they do the same. If you can think of one, put it in the comments!
1:01:10
Feeling driven
1:03:06
I should be walking with the Immortan, McFeasting with the heroes of all time.
Nux to Capable, realizing he’ll never get to heaven because his blood bag (Max) killed Joe’s trophy wife
Steamy punk
I love the implied etymology of ‘McFeasting'; it sounds like a happy meal.
1:03:04 Nux and Capable (Riley Keough) get so close that he introduces her to Larry and Barry, the tumours growing in his neck. I suppose it is true that you can make friends in the strangest places.
1:07:34 While trying to make it across a marshland in the middle of the night, both the convoy and the pursuers become entrenched in the mud. Splendid finally dies and the Organic Mechanic (e.g. the doctor, Angus Sampson) cannot save the life of the foetus. Gone, baby, gone.
1:09:28 Max wastes 2 of the 3 remaining bullets trying to stop the approaching vehicle driven by The Bullet Farmer (Richard Carter). Furiosa takes the gun to shoot the last bullet and hits her mark. This is the type of scene that had fan boys up in testosterone.
1:12:06 Nux, now in love, decides to help the escapees by driving the rig out of the mud. This is the sort of thing that happens when you add ginger to your diet.
1:13:14
Engine running
1:14:44 This scene doesn’t last but a matter of minutes, yet there is an entire untold history of these characters who’ve learned to walk on stilts to adapt to their environment. This is the type of scene that separates an action movie from an action film.
This place is for the birds
1:18:15 While driving to ‘The Green Place’ our war rig stops at an abandoned oil derrick type structure, manned by a naked woman (Megan Gale as The Valkyrie). She’s meant to be bait for a trap, but when Furiosa identifies herself with her lineage, the other women come out of their holes. Figuratively.
1:21:08 As Furiosa introduces the Wives to the old women of her old clan (The Vuvalini – not a joke), she learns the marshy area with the crows is all that’s left of The Green Place. I certainly appreciate her confusion. They should stop calling it The Green Place and call it the Shite Place – but that name was already taken by Detroit.
1:21:47
Deserted
1:25:15
You know, hope is a mistake.
Max
Truest sentence of the entire film.
1:28:04 Max’s little girl vision (Coco Jack Gillies as Glory the Child) inspires him to lead a charge back to the Citadel, the Eden we saw at the beginning of the film. The theory is that they drive back through the collection of armies, close the pass and take control of the War Boys to claim control of the Citadel. This is the sort of plan that works best only in movies.
1:29:15
My first day at the Shoe Locker
1:30:34 All of the enemy camps take up chase against our heroes. Just because you’re paranoid, it doesn’t mean people aren’t after you.
1:34:54 ‘Cool’ is a word I try to never use, but in the scene with the polecats, no other description will do.
Pole Position
Pole Dancers
1:39:34 Max jumps into the People Eater’s rig and uses him as a human shield when Immortan Joe shoots at him from another vehicle. Max is rather safe as the Mayor is so large it’s like hiding behind a planet. #eclipse
1:40:38 Max tries to return to Furiosa’s truck as she’s been stabbed and, perhaps more importantly, his rig is exploding.
Great Balls of Fire
1:42:27 Not an important plot point, but Max has to fight the guitar player car mascot. This isn’t too difficult as the guitarist is just a musician.
1:42:58
Rictus, take me.
Cheedo tells Joe’s brother she wants to return to Joe’s vehicle
As for being taken, ‘Rictus’ sounds more like ‘where’ than ‘whom’.
1:43:34 Cheedo helps Furiosa climb on Joe’s vehicle, so it would appear her betrayal was a ruse. Like a bisexual athlete, she pays for both teams.
Bandages on mosquito bites
1:44:32 Furiosa attaches a hook to Joe’s faceplate that is torn off when she throws the chain the hook is attached to into the wheel axle. Joe dies by losing face. Literally
1:46:38 Nux sacrifices himself by crashing the rig in the narrow pass so that the enemy vehicles can’t follow the vehicle with Max, Furiosa and the trollops. #DeadEnd
Traffic Jamming
1:48:46 Max sets up a transfusion mid-ride to save Furiosa. He makes a better nurse than most nurses I know, plus he has a good roadside manner.
1:51:08 Upon arrival back at the Citadel, Max shows the crowd Joe’s corpse and they rip it to shreds. Furiosa steps from the vehicle and the mob chant, “Let them up”, meaning give them access to the giant lift which will take them to the upper echelons of power. In short, they’d like a rise.
1:52:22 The milk maids open the floodgates and allow the poor people to bathe.
Cliff vomits
1:53:04 Max slips away quietly, looking for a sequel.
Not to Dubai in Summer
Roll credits
Tally Ho’
- WTF!?’s: Only one raging one
- When to Follow: When you’re completely fed up of ‘action’ films that have no action. Basically a 2-hour long trailer, there is not much dialogue in Fury Road because the storyboard existed before the script.
- Where’s This Found: Mad Max: Fury Road holds its own easily in the Mad Max saga. While the story may be simplistic – it is an action film, not a philosophical treatise – simple is acceptable if the action holds its own. In MM:FR there’s no shortage of action and the action here is original, not trite martial arts battles, fist fights and shoot outs where no one gets hurt. Out of a possible 10, I have 9 F’s to give
- What To Feedback:
All GIFs used in this review were created with the Imgflip online meme generator
[N.B. I used the very informative Mad Max Wiki as a research tool for this review
I also referred to the Mad Max subreddit on Reddit]
Left Over WTF (Way Too Funny) Photos
Credit where it’s due
Woman’s liberation
How Furiosa lost her arm
And that’s where Furiosa lost her arm
Chastity belt for gays
Keeping an ear to the ground
Gary Busey as Immortan Joe
Drive-In
“We’re over here, Furiosa!”
Making cutoffs
“Let’s crash for the night!”
I hope she’s not going to play poker…because she has a lousy hand
Prints suitable for reposting!
WTF!? did they say?
WTF!? do you meme?
MFW I confuse hemmoid cream with toothpaste
What to Follow Up
WTF review of a different version of the future
Oh, Al! Audio Dregs Booze Revooze of Mad Max: Fury Road
Fernby Films review of a zombie film
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